Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
