Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
