the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
