You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
