i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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