There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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