OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
