I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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