I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
zippers are such a cool invention
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
the raccoons are back...
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