idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
