Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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