Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
