And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i now understand why vodka
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
