batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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