I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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