talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
