That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Two words: nipple clamps
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