this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
