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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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