But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
