so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
