He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just blew my weed a kiss
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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