I looked at my own cervix.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
