I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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