I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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