Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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