OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
