Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
