You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
