seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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