Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she smelled like a LAN party
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
