Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
