Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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