This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i think i just lost a toe
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
