What did we do last night that was yellow?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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