epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
