You just made me feel so damn special
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
