I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
