make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
