I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
