let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
