Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Randomize
