I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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