He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You know, be my cock's hype man.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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