Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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