I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
