Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
