from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i need some magic done to my vagina
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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