I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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