you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
