dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
