Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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